


F***ing Humans

by myfineasymptote



Series: That One Demon Au [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Demon AU, It means -smut-, M/M, but I may post other oneshots later on which do include it, demon!Kaneki, did some one say oneshot from Kaneki's POV????, dork!Hide, technically no HideKane, you know what that means??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 15:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3983575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfineasymptote/pseuds/myfineasymptote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion piece to my other work, Bloody Demons.<br/>It's not particularly necessary to read it, but still highly recommended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F***ing Humans

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so remember that whole me being on hiatus to do my HideHaise week prompts? That is still a thing that is happening. It's taking so long, I'm so sorry! (　;_ゝ; )

Kaneki blinks as the overwhelming magic dissipated, mentally still riding the high of being summoned. Instinctively he looks to find the one who called him.

Cute, he notes absently, but also male. Looks to be young, probably not twenty yet, and from that sudden dilation of his eyes, definitely attracted. Kaneki opens his mouth to taste the air and the scent of his new "master" and-  _Oh._ Virgin. This is going to be interesting.

 _I wonder if I'm the first guy he's been attracted to..._ Kaneki smiles at that thought, and since the blond in front of him seems a bit dumbstruck, decides to introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Kaneki." Oops, a little too breathy there. Hope he doesn't get the wrong idea. You don't know who he's summoned you here to...

At that thought, Kaneki's mood begins to sour. Nevertheless, he puts on his best friendly smile, and, since this summoner seems to be a bit confused as to how this works, prompts him for the request.

Or at least, starts to. "Is there  anythi-"

"I- I HAVE TO GO!" Looking startled by his own outburst, Blondie tosses his book into a corner, dashes from the room, opens another door - a closet? no, probably a bathroom- and locks it behind him.

Well, that went... better than expected... At least Kaneki won't be getting on his knees anytime soon, judging by that reaction. In fact, from all that panic radiating off Blondie, Kaneki wonders if he even meant to summon him in the first place. 

_Maybe for once I won't have to use my powers, maybe we can just be friends-_

Crushing that thought down, Kaneki begins to explore his summoner's home. Blondie's room is pretty messy- clothes strewn about, crumpled papers and worksheets dotting the floor, and is that a potato chip bag? that's how you get ants, Mr. Summoner- and oh, that book he dropped looks very interesting. _Rituals for the Pursuit of Demons_ written in Infernal script, the language of Demons? Those sorts of books are rare, even in the Nine Circles! Kaneki will have to ask if he can borrow it later. 

Exiting the bedroom, Kaneki continues exploring. Down the hall a little ways, he can hear Blondie muttering to himself behind the shut door, but the rest of the hallway is empty. The other side opens up to a small combination living room/kitchen/dining room, with another door leading to what Kaneki would guess is outside the apartment. There is also plenty of trash piled up in this room.  _Hmm, virgin, probably single, seems to live by himself... I wonder how he affords this apartment? It's not that much worse than Mom's place._ Kaneki notices a window, and looks out.  _Ah, student housing. A university kid._

Now he almost feels bad for the kid. Already in college and never slept with someone? Well, Kaneki probably hasn't had the typical human experience when it comes to sex, but  _still._ This is almost like something out of a bad sitcom.

"You need to get laid, kid," He murmurs aloud, "with someone  _other_ then me."

A little bored, Kaneki wanders into the kitchen. Potato chip bags, a loaf of bread- ooh, a coffee maker! One of the nice ones, too.

So, he likes coffee, then... Kaneki rummages around in the cupboards, pulling out a pan (no kettle.  _sigh_ ), and some coffee beans Blondie must have bought on accident, because these would break his coffee maker. Kaneki has just the plan to get Blondie to talk to him.

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Kaneki knocks on the bathroom door. After a moment of silence, he decides to just call out. "Excuse me-" Blondie, no wait, better be polite, "- Mister?"

Nothing except the whisper of fabric. What is he doing in there?

"Mister, Please don't lock yourself in the bathroom."

Still more silence. Alright, time to pull out the big guns.

"If you come out, I’ll make you some coffee. I’m fairly good at it, I’m told…"

Finally, Blondie replies in a mutter under his breath: "Curses. My one weakness."

Kaneki just barely bites back a snort of laughter at that. What a goofy guy.

The door opens, to reveal that Blondie's hair is quite a mess. _Did- did he get laid and I just missed it?!_  Kaneki blinks, and decides not to mention it. He'll say something after the request is made and he can finally get out of here.

"I've actually already started making the coffee," Kaneki says, almost apologetically. Blondie just continues giving the floor his best thousand-yard stare, and Kaneki has to fight the urge to sigh in exasperation. What the heck is with this guy? It's like he'd never seen a sex demon before!  _Although I guess I can't blame him too much, my aura always goes a little weird when I'm fully fed. And at least he isn't as bad as Tsuk-_ NOPE NOPE Kaneki not thinking about that bad thoughts moving on-

"It's in the kitchen!" Kaneki blurts, "We should go get it! Err, before it gets cold." Without waiting for a response, he fled back to the kitchen and began pouring the hot water. Since Blondie didn't have a strainer, Kaneki placed several paper towels over the cups, poured a handful of the beans he had ground while waiting for the water to boil, and finally began to pour the hot water in slow circles to make the coffee. The paper towels held up surprisingly well. He'd have to mention that to Yoshimura the next time he saw him.

Feeling awkward, Kaneki brought the cups to Blondie, handed him one, and sat on the opposite end of the couch. He tried not to notice how the other immediately tried to lean away from him.  _Ok, I know my aura affects humans in weird ways sometimes, but I thought it usually made me more attractive?? He doesn't have to act like I'm going to- OH SHIT, he might not know what kind of demon I am, he probably thinks I AM going to eat him! Okay, quick, establish that that is not how I work-_

"S- So, what did you want me to do?" Kaneki tastes the air again and oh, the poor guy is so nervous and stressed. Now Kaneki feels bad for being nervous and making fun earlier. He looks and acts like a startled bunny rabbit. He also obviously has no idea what Kaneki is talking about. He decides to give Blondie a few hints, and when met with a blank expression, resigned himself to having to explain it. "You summoned me. You understood what the words meant, didn't you? 'Bring forth a demon-"

"And bind them to my will." Blondie finished flatly.

Kaneki waited for him to continue, but only an awkward silence rose to the occasion. Sitting quietly, sipping his coffee, Kaneki wondered when he could drop by Anteiku. He really missed the Manager's coffee. Even now, it still had some subtle taste to it that Kaneki could never quite mimic-

"I don't have anything to do for you, sorry."

What. _What_. WHAT! He's stuck here?! Stuck in this tiny three-room apartment?! No no no no no no, Kaneki has things to do, his Mom to look after, Anteiku to visit, Tsukiyama to avoid- Kaneki  _can't be stuck here oh lord what is he going to do_ -

"Please, just tell me to do something! Any little thing!"

Blondie becomes even more panicked at that. "I- I told you! I don't have anything!" 

Oh man, oh no, if only there was someway to make him  _understand_. "Please, It can be something stupid, like picking up a spoon-" Kaneki steps closer and wait, when did he stand up? weird "- or even make you more coffee! It does not have to be anything-"

Blondie is staring at him, face flushed a bright cherry red for some reason, and mutters something. Kaneki only recognizes the words "have" and "go" as Blondie leaps up from the couch and races out the door.

"Wait! I can't leave unless you-" the door slams shut behind him, "-tell me to do something." Kaneki sighs quietly. 

Well, on the bright side, he wasn't forced into coitus today. On the down side, that statement is still a "yet". Man, being a sex demon is the absolute worst. 

Kaneki pulls out his cellphone and calls Touka. "Kaneki! What are you doing back, I thought you were helping your mom...?"

"Yeah, I was, I just..." Kaneki can't hold in the sigh, "..I was summoned. By some guy."

"Well," Touka's voice takes that strange tone where she is pretending to be angry because she is concerned for you, "hurry up and do the thing! Come see us, we can get another portal whipped up in a couple hours."

"I can't."

There is a moment of silence. When Touka speaks next, it is with cold fury. "What."

"It's okay, I'm fine! I'm not hurt at all. He just didn't give me a request."

"I repeat.  _What._ "

Kaneki sighs. "Just come down here, would you? It's kind of a weird story. Hinami-chan can sense me, right?"

Touka hums and hangs up.

"Bye, Touka." Despite her lack of farewell, Kaneki is smiling as he puts away his phone. Touka only gets that mad about people she cares about. And Kaneki really can't wait to see Hinami-chan again. It's been over two months since he left tog go help Mom.

Maybe, just maybe, things won't be as bad as he'd feared. 

**Author's Note:**

> I still know absolutely nothing about coffee (ﾉﾟ-ﾟ)ﾉ
> 
> Betchya weren't expecting to Kaneki to be demisexual!  
> I should probably add a slow build tag to the main fic...


End file.
